Never in the darkest nightmares did I imagine that I could see and experience what has been going on here in our hospital for three weeks. The nightmare continues, the river is getting bigger and bigger. At first a few came, then dozens and then Hundreds and now we are no longer doctors, but we have become classifiers and we decide who should live and who should be sent home to die, even if all these people paid Italian life insurance taxes.
Until two weeks ago, my colleagues and I were atheists. It was normal because we are doctors and we learned that science excludes the presence of God. I always laughed at my parents who went to church. Nine days ago, a 75-year-old pastor came to see us; He was a good man, he had serious respiratory problems but he had a Bible with him and he impressed us when he read it to the dying and held them with his hand. All of us doctors were tired, discouraged, mentally and physically exhausted when we were fortunate enough to hear him.
Now, we have to admit that we, as humans, when we have reached our limit, and we cannot do more and more and more people come to us every day. Moreover, we are exhausted, we have two colleagues who died and others were infected. We realized that where man can no longer do anything else, we need God and we have started asking for his help when we have a few minutes free. When we talk to each other, we cannot believe that, as ferocious atheists that we were, now every day we seek our peace, asking the Lord to help us resist so that we can care for the sick.
The 75-year-old pastor died yesterday; that at the date of his admission, with more than 120 dead and that we were all exhausted, destroyed in just 3 weeks, he had managed, despite his conditions and our difficulties, to bring us PEACE that we no longer expected to find. The pastor went to the Lord and soon we will follow him if this continues.
I have not been home for 6 days, I do not know when I last ate, and I realize my worthlessness on this earth and I want to take my last breath to help others. I am happy to have returned to God while surrounded by the suffering and death of my fellow men.
Iulian Urban 38 years old · Doctor in Lombardy
Evidence collected by: Gianni Giardinelli
